Great, I thought. Now I get to go and wait in line at the DMV.
But, upon opening the letter, I learn that if 12 statements do not pertain to me, I can instead renew by mail (or by phone or online, but these options would also require a "minimal [read: outrageously expensive by Jansen standards] payment processor fee", so those options are right out).
After reading through statements 1-10, I'm in the clear. Then, I get to number 11:
Your legal name or gender has changed or you have lost your driver's license.
I must admit that the juxtaposition of these three things made me laugh out loud.
Number 12 didn't pertain to me, either, so it looks like the DMV will not have to be visited by me this year.